It has been a rough few days around here. Last Thursday Tim got a call from the friend of a friend over in Ukraine. We had spoke to him about making a trip to visit each of the girls for us for a small fee. Well, on Thursday he had traveled to Balta to see Alyona and had spent some time with her. He gave her the letters we had emailed him, as we were not sure she had received the ones we had previously mailed. He helped her write a short note back to us. He was also able to get some new photos for us. Wow, it was so good to see how she was, and to hear all about her! He called Tim that afternoon to let him know about the visit, and to let us know that he was able to find out when her birthday is. Yeah! It is two days before my mom's; and Kristina's birthday is two weeks after my dad's. He also dropped a bombshell on us. I guess we needed to know before we get to Ukraine, so we are prepared, but I will just tell you, I am not over it yet. We thought the girls had no family. Well, we were wrong. There is a grandma who lives in Russia and an uncle who lives in Ukraine. We believe her to be older in age, but are not sure of much at this point.

I walked around most of Friday with a numb feeling. After losing two babies, many years ago via miscarriage, it was like going through that all over again. I had promised myself I would not get so emotionally attached to these girls that I could not walk away if I had to. But at this point I am not sure how I would do that. My heart is split in two. I so badly want these girls to be ours, but how would I feel if I was the grandmother? Could I give them up without a fight? Would they think I don't care about them? Would they understand I only want what is best for them? What is the best for them? They have lost so much at this point. I don't want them to suffer any more.

We talked with our friend in Odessa for almost two hours on Saturday; and he offered us good advice. Also, he planned to go to Kiliya to see Kristina this week. I asked him about possibly sending a letter to the grandmother that I had written on Friday. He did not think that would be a good idea.

When I arrived home today I was surprised to find a letter in the mail addressed in Russian. I thought at first that it was from one of the girls, maybe Kristina. Of course I could not tell right away as I do not speak or read Russian!! (Note to self: I need to work on that... in my spare time. Between 1:00am and 4:00am is the only spare time I am aware of, but who needs sleep, right? It's overrated!) So, this evening I ran over to our friends, the Tygarts, and had Josh read it for me. (He is such a great kid. I can not say enough good stuff about him. = ) ) Well, come to find out the letter is not from the girls at all. It is from the grandmother! She has seen my letter to Alyona, and does not like the idea of me writing to her granddaughter, and in no uncertain terms am I to write to her again. She even went on to say that I must send the girl's pictures back to her. She sounded very unhappy in her letter. Part of me wants to fight this "to the death". Then part says, "They are not yours to fight for." But I heard this week from a wise preacher, if God is working, so is Satan. We have seen God working all over this thing, from the beginning up until now. So I guess it is up to God. When He is done He will show me to move on. I know we will have two girls come to live with us. Will it be these two girls? I do not know. Only God knows. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11 Gods Word).

The thing God keeps impressing on me tonight is the story in 1 Kings 3 regarding the two mothers who are fighting over a baby. They went before King Solomon and he says to bring a sword to divide the child in half in order to let each woman have half. At that point the real mother steps up and says, no, let the other woman have the child. Just let the child live. I, too, would have to be that woman.

Please be praying for us. We are still working to collect the rest of the funds necessary so that if we should need to leave right away, we can. I will stay over there as long as required and will be without an income for that time. God is faithful, though. He will provide.

Lynn