Boy, this has been one of those weeks... up and down, up and down, up and down, and then up and down another time. You get the picture! LOL! We have had a few a late nights recently discussing the adoption. As much as I'm tired of talking about it... It is all I can do. It's all WE can do. So, I go from wanting to talk about it... to it being the last thing I want to talk about... all in less than a minute. As I had mentioned in a previous post, it really is a roller coaster ride.

We have several people who have been following our blog (and thank you please post some comments so we know you are there) and I received a call from one of them on Monday. I was working so I did not take the time right away to answer it, but then I missed a very important call from the church so I stopped to listen to my voicemail. The lady on the voicemail was frantic. I needed to call her right away. She had seen Alyona's picture out on a website for her to be hosted by family in America over the winter holiday. She said they needed to talk to us right away so we could possibly get her. Well, I will just tell you... we went right to work on that; and within a very short time we had everything done. =) I will be driving to Washington, DC on Tuesday evening to pick her on Wednesday afternoon!! I sure do hope the plane is not late. I have my best friend in the whole world going with me (next to my husband, of course, who could not go as he will be out of town working). We are also bringing her son, who is from Ukraine, so he is very happy to have someone to speak Russian to. And I am as happy to have someone who speaks Russian to her for me! At least until we get used to each other, that is. So we will get to spend Christmas and New Year's Day with her. Everything is almost as perfect as it could get, other than Kristina not being here.

Then, on Tuesday, we learned grandma has started the process in Russia of attempting to get guardianship of the girls. Tim came home from work and he was so depressed it was not even funny. However, this time I had a peace about it all. I am still worried Satan may come in and try to do something, but my GOD is bigger than he is, and has already defeated him, so we just keep moving forward. We were at a Christmas party Friday night and our translator called on Tim's cell phone. It was 4:30 am in Ukraine!! He wanted to tell us some encouraging news. He said we could call the hosting agency as they have some new photos of Kristina. Also, he spoke to the orphanage director at Kiliya; and they will try to arrange for the girls to Skype with each other while Alyona is here. It has been more than two years since they have seen or talked to each other. Please pray that this will work out for them.

About two weeks ago, I was given some money from a friend to go buy a Christmas tree for the girls' room, so I got a PINK tree and ornaments that match the color of their room. I think it has grown on Tim a little... hehehe!! But it is not about him it is for the girls. I came right home and put it up. I just felt like it was something I was to do. It looks very nice in their room. A quick side note: Tim has done a great job in their room, from a new ceiling and ceiling fan, to fresh paint, and hardwood floors, and curtains. We have ordered their furniture and are waiting for it to come in. For now the mattress is on the floor, but it looks great. I will try to get some pictures posted as soon as the furniture is put in.

While at church tonight I was talking to a friend and telling her all that has happened. She was amazed. Me, too!! =0 She told me a story about a Sunday school lesson someone taught her years ago, about "expecting faith". At the time she had been very, very tight on money. She was not even sure if she would have any gifts to put under the tree that year for her children. After the class, though, she went out and spent $2 on gift wrapping paper and then told God He needed to help with the presents. Well, guess what? HE DID. She said I had put up the pink tree expecting them to be here, and, see, one of them will be. Another friend told me she was looking back at some emails her and I had exchanged; and she said about two weeks ago I went to saying "she" instead of "they". I had not even realized it. I guess it was God preparing me for the one girl for now. And that is OK. Two would have been better, but I am sure not going to tell God, "No, I want both or none."

I am asked all the time if I think about my daughters-to be-every day. HA! Do I think about them? I eat, sleep, and dream THEM! As much as I'd love to not think about another adoption thing ever again... I CAN'T and DON'T want to stop thinking about them. They are my daughters!!! Would I stop believing in God because I can't see him? NO!!!! I will not stop thinking of them... because I KNOW I will have them in my arms one day, just as I will be able to spend my days in the presence of my heavenly Father one day, too!

I have been married for twenty-six years. He is the man of my dreams. I have two of the most incredible boys, and now two girls on the other side of the world praying their “mama” won't stop fighting for them. Do I believe that God will bring our daughters home? Yes, in His timing! No, I won't stop fighting for this adoption, even when weeks like this I get really tired of it. Weeks like this I want to throw in the towel... though I never would. It's weeks like this, that I lay everything at God's feet and tell him I trust Him with each of our daughters' life and our adoption plans... because there is no one else Who is bigger, greater and more loving than He. I try to recognize Who really is in control of this adoption, but at times I want to help Him. If I would just step back, and let Him do it, it will work out for the best. I can do nothing. I KNOW without a doubt the day we meet our daughters will be a day when I will see that every day of this adoption journey will have been worth it.

It's like an eternal pregnancy that will never end. God made pregnancy nine months for a reason, but I know in my heart, that I will carry on another year of this if we have to. I just hope and pray we don't. I will keep dreaming about them. I will keep fighting for them. I will keep loving them... until they are in our arms, or God says it is time for us to move on. I can tell you that I wouldn't survive this long, mountainous, strenuous climb to our girls if it wasn't for my relationship with Jesus and my husband. I need Him to help me through. I want to smile as I go along this journey to them, but there are days that I cry a lot. I want to enjoy the amazing life God has mapped out for us. I want to love the plan God has for my life, even if it should be waiting for 1+ years for our girls. And, when things get tough, I'm thankful for a loving, caring, and sympathetic God that I know will wrap His arms around me and carry me to the end. We would never have met so many of you, if we didn't take this journey. And most importantly I have a rock solid relationship with Jesus because of this amazing journey. I would never have thought I could grow this close to God.

So, it's on these roller coaster days that I am reminded what an amazing life I have been blessed with! With so many surrounding us, supporting us, and praying us through. And, to be thankful every day for the small things. I just hope and pray that along this ride with us it will touch your heart to help the orphans of this world. Just ask God to show you what He would have you do; and He will, but please be willing to do it. My prayer for all of you is that you will be willing to be made willing to do His work, whatever that maybe.

Sorry for the long-winded post... I can hardly ever write something from the heart that only takes a few lines. :-)

Lynn